Three rugby fans are praying to god.
The 1st one, an old quins fan, asks, 'When will quins win the premiership?' and god replies 2005 quins suporter
says, just my luck, i'll be dead by then.
The next bloke, a wasps fan goes up to him and asks the same question, got replies '2010' The wasps fan turns away and
says, i'll be well dead by then'
finally a saints fan goes up to god and says, when will the saints win the premership? god replies i will be dead by
then.
A japanese firm has developed a camera with shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an aussie
with his mouth shut.
An englishman, an aussie and an south african are in a bar one night, having a beer. All of a sudden the south african
downs his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says: "In soth efrika our
glasses are so cheap that we dont need to drink from the same glass twice."
The aussie, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots
the glass to pieces and says: "well mate, in straaaaaailia we have so much sand to make the glasses that we dont need to drink
out of the same glass twice either."
The englishman, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun
and shoots the south african and the australian and then says: "In london we have so many f***ing south africans and aussies
that we dont need to drink with the same ones twice.
Eddie jones takes the wallabies out for training and tells evreyone to assume their normal position.
so they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.
England were playing the australians at twickenham, and after the half time whistle blew the english found themselves
up by 50 points to nil with martin johnson scoring 8 tries on his own. The rest of the team decided to go down to the pub
instesd of playing the second half and told martin johnson that he was on his own.
"No problems", said martin johnson, i'll come down after the came and report back."
well, after the game martin found the rest of the team at the pub. "What was the final score martin?" asked one of his
players. "sorry guys , but it ended up 95 points to 3."
"what!!!!!?", exclaimed the players.
"how did you let the aussies get 3 points????"
to which martin johnson replied,
"I got sent off with 20 minutes to go".
